Giving a partner the benefit of the doubt can boost the relationship
You come home and the kitchen is a mess, with dishes piled in the sink. Your spouse must have left it that way. What you think next could have a major impact on your relationship and your stress level, writes Jessica Borelli, associate professor of psychology and social behavior.
Your emotional reaction to the situation will be considerably different depending on if you blame your spouse as an inconsiderate jerk, or if you step back and ask what else could be going on. One reaction opens up space for trust in the relationship; the other can inhibit that.
"Assume other (people) have good intentions," Borelli writes. "This goes a long way in creating positive relationships. Acknowledge the potential for fallibility in our thinking. Respect the thought processes of others as careful and reasonable. And above all, persist in the quest to understand others."
Borelli wrote the article with Debra Mashek, a psychology professor at Harvey Mudd College. It was published in Psychology Today.